Writers Block and the Evil Inner Critic....or why I fell in love with the nuclear bomb......

here it is, Day 5 and I'm freaking BLOCKED!!!!!! I'm staring at the 8000 or so words I've already put out, and I'm blank. I cannot pull out what I have had running through my head the last few weeks. And what I have pulled out? I don't think it's good enough...or my Evil Inner Critic, who is NOT a nice person btw, doesn't think it's good enough. It's a mess.....bits and pieces that I have to connect up and I'm at a loss as to how to connect it up! Heck, 6 paragraphs are pure babble! An entire section of dialogue is so wooden you could build a bridge out of it and prove it's a witch (because, you know....witches are made of wood).

ACK!!!!!

Why do I do this to myself? Why can't I beat the living daylights out of the Evil Inner Critic, smash down the wall that is Writers Block and just run with it? What is wrong with me???????????

Kick Off Party

So last night was the Offical Toronto Nano Kick Off party, and a good time was had. I should know better than to order a grown up sized meal though, I can never finish the damned thing. (Oh, and note to self. Do not order a pot of tea in the evening. You will not sleep.)

I got to meet a few Nanoer's that I didn't meet last year (and one mother/daughter duo who taught me that right here in Toronto one can learn medieval archery and swordsmanship. Seriously. How kick ass is that?)

I took pictures, but as it turns out, I'm a terrible photographer. I hope I get better and soon!

Anyway, it's (does math) 8 hours and 15 minutes to the Offical Start Time of Nanowrimo (being that midnight is actually a brand spanking new day....and it will be Nov 1! YAY!!!!!) However, I won't actually be writing at midnight....see, Ghost Hunters Halloween Live starts at 7 pm on Space, and this is the first year we get it aired in Canada, and it's on until 2 pm. Yeah, a live 7 hour televised ghost hunt. I like Ghosts. :)

I wonder how many hats I can churn out in 7 hours?

(oh, and check out my blog roll, I've added many a nanoer!)

2 MOAR DAYS!!!!111elebentity!!!!!1111

So, it's two more full days to go until Nov 1 and the start of NaNo. I'm itching, itching to write. I can't remember being this bouncy and excited about writing in general. Honestly.

So how am I coping with it?

Well, there will be several warm heads on homeless people this winter. I've been knitting winter hats, their destination is Street Knits, a roots level organization, started by a knitter, which collects hand knit items like hats, socks, mitts, gloves, even sweaters, and distributes them to Toronto's homeless population. I've been knitting hats to keep me from cheating and writing before Nov 1.

Tomorrow is the big to-do for the Toronto NaNoers, we're meeting at The Butler's Pantry, chowing down and sharing the collective enthusiasim. Much fun to be had!

So, two more days, several hats later, maybe even start another pair of socks (or finish some of the socks started months ago). EEK!!!

That time of year again

So it's that time of year again. NaNo begins on Saturday, and I've plans to attend the Toronto NaNo party on the 30th (much fun was had last year!), and musing on attending the Inner Critic on the 1st, where you make a playdough version of your inner critic to lock it up for a month, thus allowing you the freedom to run with words....frankly I think that's something I really should do, as I'm highly critical of my writing, and at times I get so bad about it, I find myself in a vicious block.

I wonder if it's against the 'rules' for me to smash my playdough inner critic should that happen? :) My loving husband has a nice hammer, it'd probably feel good to smash the inner critic until playdough splatters the walls.

Ah, the visual.

Anyways.....I'm hoping to be a thousand times better about keeping up this blog this year, really chronicaling my descent into madness and my efforts to create a ripping good story in 30 days. See, the first year, although I did not win NaNo (hell, I don't think I reached 6,000 words, never mind the requisite 50,000), I consider the story I started to have very good bones. I still toy with that one, and plan to eventually finish it.

Last year? *shudder* We shall never speak of that novel. It is the Novel That Shall Not Be Named. While I surpassed the 50,000 mark (thanks to participating in the Word War), it was an absolutely HORRIBLE attempt at stringing a story together. It shall NEVER be seen by the eyes of others and shall forever languish in the depths of the Gigabytes of my computer.

Although one day, when I stop with the pathological hate of it, I might pluck back the inital idea and start over.

Maybe.

This year, the story hit me out of the blue while watching a program on the Discovery (or was it the History?) channel about Robin Hood and the cultural impact the stories have had. Yes folks, I'm turning Robin Hood upside down. Good bye men running about the forest, hello women! I'm itching to write it. I've got my female Robin Hood all plotted out in my head, who she is, why she's in Sherwood, etc, etc. I've been diving into English laws of the era, and the social structure and I'm itching to start writing. I'm bouncing in anticipation for Nov 1.

This year, not only am I going to love my little tale, I'm going to surpass 50,000 and STILL love it. This year, I'm not going to bury my novel after the month is over! I'm actually going to let others see it, read it, comment and critic it! I'm going to continue on it!

Big goals.

Oh yeah, and I have to find the time to make my Christmas gifts too.

Maybe I should invest in some coffee companies?

I'm lazy and now I'm paying for it.

No, I'm not really paying for it. But I *am* lazy. Well, lazy at blogging that is.

Anyways, it's coming up to NaNoWriMo 2007 folks, I've got the plot, characters, setting, everything ready to go this year! YAYS! Romance novel this time around, see that there post from April sitting below this one. Yeah. THAT.

Wow....

It's been FOREVER since I last posted here. Bad me! *hides cookies*

So.....what's been up with me in my writer's mind?

I have for now set aside God's Gate. I never actually sat down and worked out a plot outline nor developed some main characters (never mind secondary). I did get some excellent feedback from people who have read it, which strengthened my confidence in my skills and abilities, but I know that I have to work on some weak points. Like, oh...knowing what the hell I want to have happen in the story. :) Besides, another tale has taken over my mind, and that's where my focus is. I will eventually pick God's Gate back up, just not sure exactly when. I just got very tired of blocking every time I reached a point where I didn't know what I wanted to do with the story and the characters.

The new tale is a Historical Romance, set in the year 520 amid the struggle for territory between the Britions and the incoming Saxons. I have a full plot sketched out and am in the process of researching the era as best I can and sketching out my characters. The tale within the plot is already forming in my mind, so I feel beyond good about when I actually start writing this one.

I joined a couple of academic lists, one Anglos Saxon and the other Arthurian, where I have posed some questions about era and events and territory, in the effort to place things as closely as possible in my head. And I told my husband that I wanted to take a trip to England this summer if we could do it financially to the area in question so that I can see the lay of the land for myself and possibly even pop into certain ruins and archeological sites to help me visualize what it once was. For God's Gate, the setting was easy, cause I live here. This as yet untitled tale, well, I've never been to England. Right now I'm working off of pictures, maps and other people's descriptions. I hope we can afford to go!

So, that's the update in a nutshell I suppose. Oh, and so ya'll know just want kind of information I've been seeking in my research, here's the questions I've posed to those academic lists!

1) Cerdic, who is viewed as the founder of the Anglo-Saxon Kingdom of
Wessex, appears to have actually been either British or mixed
British/SaxonBlood. According to the books The Anglo-Saxons, The
beginnings of the English nation by Geoffrey Hindley, and A Brief
History of British Kings and Queens by Mike Ashley, he is of the Gewisse
tribe from the area of the Welsh Marches. Is there an academic paper or
mention in some publication that would elaborate on this? If not, I
think I could manage to create some reasonings/events that would lead to
his invasion in 495 with Saxon mercinaries that wouldn't be all that
unfeasable. But I'd like to try to function within the realm of
historical possibilities.

(note, in referring back to certain reference material, the area the
Gewisse are associated with is actually the Upper Thames region. This
of course can help me with creating his motivations for invading with
Saxon mercinaries)

2) Cerdic's son/grandson. Cynric. Is there any general consensious as
to which he is?

3) According to the ASC, in 508 Cerdic defeated King Natanleod at the
Battle of Netley. I found a community near Southhampton of that name.
Is it reasonable to assume this is the general area?

4) After the Battle of Netley, it's noted that King Natanleod and his
men retreated back to Venta Belgarum/Winchester. Is it known how long
they remained in the Winchester area before moving west as the Saxons
under Cerdic expanded? Or were they simply absorbed?

5) I found reference to a rural village called North Charford being
named Cerdicesford after the Battle of Netley. Was this for a brief
period considered the Saxon stronghold/capital? If so, for how long do
you suppose?

6) I found reference to Dorchester-On-Thames in Oxfordshire being the
capital of the Kingdom of Wessex before 634 when it was handed over to
the church by King Cynegils and the capital moved to Winchester. Around
what period would the Saxons have made it that far north from the
Southampton area? (as per my note in question 1, this appears to have
been right smack in the traditional area of the Gewisse)

7) Silchester/Calleva Atrebatum. I know that current (or as current as
I know of, I've only so far skimmed the website) archeology says that
this particular town was totally abandoned at some point after the
Romans left Britian. However, I stumbled over reference to it also
being a stronghold of British resistance to the Saxon push between 495
and 519 (when Cerdic founded the Kingdom of Wessex). How likely is
this? If unknown, is it historically feasable for me to use it in my
novel as a stronghold for the British tribes of the Artebates (who's
capital it was) and the Regnenses (and possibly the Belgae)?

8) By 520, approximately how much area did Wessex cover? (I'm working
with modern maps of the area in order to help me place the story in my
head, and plotting geographical points on them). In other words, how
much land did the Saxons control? What towns?

9) Religion Question. What I know of early Christianity in the British
Isles is mostly regarding the Irish Church. Do you recommend any
particular publications to help me with the Church in Britian around
this time period? My female protaganist is British and Christian, the
male Saxon and Pagan. While I have resources to help me approximate
Saxon religion and belief, I need to juxtapose this next to the
Christian. And what books I do have focus, again, on the Irish Church.

Been a while

Well, NaNoWriMo is over. Didn't make 50,000, barely squeeked to 10,000. Ah well. Better luck next year. Cause now I have a whole year to work on those parts of my brain that bring me to a standstill. You know, talking myself down, self doubt, all that good stuff. :)

The story will continue to be worked on until the bitter end, whenever that may be. And I'll keep this blog going for it and other things that I'll write. I've got an entire fantasy world budding in the back of my head.

I promised a while back to Angel that I'd post another excerpt, and I was going to do it yesterday, but didn't get around to it, so for you hon, here it is!



Terrence pinched the bridge of his nose, his cameraman behind him, as the pair stood in front of Detective Marshall Grant. “What the hell is going on in this city anyway?” The reporter muttered as two uniformed officers shooed away a group of people who’d come out of the bar down the street to find themselves eyewitnesses to a murder investigation while trying to find a cab. “Another one that we have to fudge the story on? This is bad Detective…real bad.”

“You don’t think I don’t know that?” Marshall huffed, practiced eyes watching everything around him. “But this particular murder is going to fall into the hands of our special friends, and like the others, its real details can’t be related to the general public. We’d have mass hysteria on our hands and the Mayor doesn’t want that.”

Terrence sighed and waved a hand at his cameraman, who turned off the camera. With a municipal election coming up in the fall, and after the summer of the Gun, the last thing the current municipal administration would want was another round of panic. And even if the potential rival candidates wanted to use these fresh murders as proof that the Mayor couldn’t handle crime, Terrence doubted sincerely that they’d want to use this. Not if they had even a hint of what lay beneath.

“The usual then?” The reporter ran a hand through his hair, peering over the detective’s shoulder, trying to get an inkling of the state of the body. Hard to see when it was deep in the alley, people milling around it. He did get a sense of a great deal of blood each time the flash of the FIS camera went off.

“Damn straight. And hurry up. The Special Unit is on the way and they can’t be seen on film.”





Drake sank onto his leather sofa, balancing his right foot on his left knee while caressing the soft chocolate brown hide with his hand. His eyes never left his visitor, whom he noted kept a careful eye on Red. Dante too seemed to be watching the petite enforcer, although Drake was quite certain it was for slightly different reasons. “Tell me Chan…what is the reason the Honourable Society of the Dragon had for refusing me my cut?” Even as he asked the question, he picked up a sleek black remote control and turned on the stereo, Wojciech Kilar’s Brides filling the room at a low volume.

Red couldn’t help but giggle. Especially considering that Chan jumped slightly when the music started. Classical generally wasn’t her taste, but this particular piece was all right.

Drake winked at her. “I’m waiting Mr. Chan.”

Chan cleared his throat, dragging his eyes away from the young woman towards her boss. He might be making a serious mistake, but then, she wouldn’t dare to attack in the man’s living room.

Would she?

“The Honourable Society of the Dragon felt that perhaps your cut was slightly higher than what you receive from others within the city.” Chan laced his fingers over his stomach. “And since the leadership of our Hong Kong branch changed hands recently, we thought it wise to bring the new Shan Chu up to date on the Toronto Branch.”

“And your new Shan Chu decreed that payments were to cease?” Drake’s voice held a dangerous edge to it, and Dante moved away from the bar to stand beside Red, one hand lightly on her slender shoulder.

“He did.” Chan confirmed, his back straight.

Red snorted, the soft breath ruffling the hair that hung in her face. She didn’t believe half of what Chan was spouting, and her entire demeanor showed it. “Yer Shan Chu woulda been better off negotiating.” She muttered as Dante’s fingers tightened slightly on her slender shoulder.

Drake glanced briefly at her and returned his gaze to Chan. “In fact, I do believe we sent a gentleman in to begin proper discussions. Did we not?” Under Dante’s fingers, Red’s shoulder stiffened.